Kiss me once for the good times
Twice for goodbye
Pull me close if you love me
Don't let it die
Hold my hand tightly
And never let go
Keep me close to your heart
You'll never know
How much I love you
And how much I care
No matter what happens
I'll always be there
So as I leave you
On this bright afternoon
Know that I love you
And I'll be seeing you soon.







I love you the way you are
I want you the way you are
You dont need to change for
Me anything

And because I love you
And because I want you
You donâ??t need to change anything

Because I love you,
And I love you,
And I love you again

I love you
And you love me too
And we, we are together
In love

And I want you
And you want me too
And we, we are together
Want each other

When you dream about me
And when I dream about you
We are running away

And when I think about you
And you think about me too
We are like love each other

Because I love you,
And I love you,
And I love you again

I love you
And you love me too
And we, we are together
In loveee

And I want you
And you want me too
And we, we are together
Want each other

Because I love you,
And I love you,
And I love you again

But you
Only
In my
Dreams



You have been such a patience man toward me.. never give up in me.. never want to let me down neither put me thru in any situation.. the best in life..... Neither the gift nor anything but the love u always gave never fade... You always treat me lil princess never the less that whenever im craving for something u always work hard just to get me those.. :) and yeah i have not been watching wad i eat till i have bad rashes breakout till they does not spare me any thought and yeah... many more... but u still been helpin me to watch over dem eventhough my stubborn head still say i want to eat.. :) here u are standing and going thru the hardship in me... Due to me... you always delay the payment of the bike... as u always said that my health come first before your bike... that why i always glad and proud to be with you...

Happy 6th monthsary sweetheart... :)

late night supper at mac was great... i miss those moment at home... whenever im hungry i will call macd.. hmm sorry for not getting you anything this time... So yeah today both of us doesnt spend the time together like other.. as we have to work... hmm.. its okie.. to me everysingle day that im with you is always special.. :) Loving you is the best i can ask for... gosh... without realising 6 mth have gone.. hmm... wad a day... btw tmrw im suppose not to work and meet bf instead.. but dunno la.. des suddenly text me saying that i work 4 - cls... sign im resigning soon.... as they just love to give me last min schedule.. gosh.. like today is sunday den later in the late night when u planned ur thing then they text... stupid.. i might be joining Club 21 or Nike for part time... hmm see how.. i have sent couple resume here and there... and hopping to wait for the reply.... gosh i have been working like mad.. and even have lil time for him... and soon im gonna start school.. and im hoping the 3day to kl with him i could spend quality time with him to the max... :)

PMS AND MORE PMS.. this is killing me.. overacting sensitive and emotional and many more.. damn i hate this so much... suddenly im unconsiderated and never want to give in.. damn me.. wad is happening.. sigh....

Hubbylove is sleeping... and yeah here is the time to post up as much as possible :) btw he is not strong with the medication whenever he eats dem he get drowsy easily and he tend to sleep thru out... pity him... hmm btw all this while he have been taking care of me to the max... even jus minor thing he will take it as a major incident.. thank you dear... so now its my turn to take care of him.. too bad im not a nurse and thank god im not a nurse.. and i cant pull myself to see wound blood fractured or broken parts.. gosh... i can faint.. :P btw yeah i cant wait for the monthsary and i just realise time is so fast... but yeah still have 6 more month to be our 1st anniversary... :)
Hmm btw dad also told me to list down the things that i need... hmm firstly in mind was my laptop, hard drive, psp,braces and new phone mayb will get those beauty pone kind... or i change to walkman phone and get myself a new digi as my DCS-H5 is super bulky... its not that i dun like them i love dem... but i only use them in certain occasion... like family gatherin, wedding, function or anything that need it.. gosh... hmm... see how la provided dad is willing to get them for me... :)

Btw confirm of goin to KL trip 8july-11july... woohooo... cant wait shop and shop and shop... :) but i myself dunnoe what to get there... lol... there too many things in the mind to buy his belated birthday gifts also not fulfilled yet.. btw this lover of mine have a fickle minded head.. till now he still cant decide wad bike to get... KR,RXZ,125Z or KTM... :P but im fine with all.. as long as he will be a safety rider... waiting for him to make a decission... hmm...
guess that all for now...

I thought that hiding all my feelings
was protecting my heart
so I never built anything
high enough to fall apart
and what I was looking for
didn't know where to start
I can't believe this is happening

The day I met you
I said welcome to the rest of my life
cuz you
and all the emptiness died
I was afraid to give love another try
Oh I can't believe this is happening

(chorus)I know that this might get me in trouble
But it's time I let my fences down
Cuz I am no longer afraid of a struggle
Oh I'll overcome
I'll overcome

Guess I'm addicted to happiness
I just can't get enough
so I decided to give a try and
surrender my trust
I've got no choice left
but to believe in us
and finally this is happening

chorus

I finally let myself go
I let all my guards down
baby I'm yours now
you're in control
I took the chains off my soul
and now I'm in love

chorus

I don't care anymore
I'll overcome
I've overcome

I thought that hiding all my feelings
was protecting my heart
so I never built anything
high enough to fall apart
and what I was looking for
didn't know where to start
I can't believe this is happening

The day I met you
I said welcome to the rest of my life
cuz you
and all the emptiness died
I was afraid to give love another try
Oh I can't believe this is happening

(chorus)I know that this might get me in trouble
But it's time I let my fences down
Cuz I am no longer afraid of a struggle
Oh I'll overcome
I'll overcome

Guess I'm addicted to happiness
I just can't get enough
so I decided to give a try and
surrender my trust
I've got no choice left
but to believe in us
and finally this is happening

chorus

I finally let myself go
I let all my guards down
baby I'm yours now
you're in control
I took the chains off my soul
and now I'm in love

chorus

I don't care anymore
I'll overcome
I've overcome

Weee... i finally found wad my lil niece or shall i say la nipote. that mean niece in italian :) she gonna call me and hubbylove in italian.. la zia elvrya and la zio daniel... :) wow.. cool.. in korean also dan but abit weird though in korean sam chon and sook mo that mean uncle and aunty.. gosh.. that is even funny so i shall stick to la zia rya or she still will call me la zia baby as baby is my family nick name... and for hubbylove is la zio daniel... :) hmm.. soon mom and dad will bring her back home that mean i can take her out cool... hmm so yeah shall stick wiht la zia rya and la zio daniel... ;)

btw its rare for me to wake up early in the morning as today @ 8am i have my breakfast with hubby love... :) yeah den now he is a sleep... pity him... wake up so early just cause im hungry.. so we made pancake and yeah we ate them all hehehe... so today i do not know what is the plan... goshh...

Gosh a week of not updating... :P practically i was busy with my new baby emily... my sis in law just gave birth to Nur amelia Ahmad Nizam. cool... she is effing cute... have abit of my sibling face abit of my sis in law and mostly like the father... gosh.. she is so cute... yeah its my first niece super pampered.. and super princess... :) btw she gonna call my bro and sis in law Ayah,ibu... kinda old school but sweet... while calling my elder bro Obek and sis bibik.. while me and bf still thinking either zio daniel which me uncle daniel or in korean word oh btw zio was in italian.. hehehe mom want us to be diff... hmm.. btw i will post her pic soon.. she is damn smart.... to paula if u see her trust me u pon geram tau.. :)

okk secondly i dint update cause hubbylove met with accident.. thank god it wasnt that serious eventhough it wasnt serious when he told me that my heart was tumbling.. .so the night of the accident i accompany him to the hospital.. but the bloody TTSH just wont give him that 3days mc.. while he was limping darn it.. so on monday he report back to the station to endoss his mc and the encik told him to go Alexendra hospital.. and there he get 4days mc... :) so yea resting at home.. but yeah i took 2days off just for him practically im super boread now.. damn it.. btw this few days i have mood swing.... pms... damn pms.... gosh.. i cant have patience on this.. tiny little thing... i pity hubbylove that he gonna gone thru this.... hmm... okokie guess shall stop here den... shall write more soon

I thought it was true
You ripped my heart out
I guess thats the thanks
I get for loving you

Your kiss was passionate
Your love nothing but a lie
I trusted you to catch me
When I fell
You only dropped me to
Watch me cry

I thought i was your one and only
The girl who stayed in your dreams
Obviously you dont know what you want
At least, thats how it seems

Whether I like it or not
This will always be true
No matter how bad you hurt me
I will always love you




Wed be laughin all night
letting time slip away
starin at eachother
for like the whole entire day

we be lyin on the grass
lookin at the stars
they feel real close
but seem too far

i wud fall asleep from there
thinkin time wud stop
to leave us together forever more
and so no more tears wud drop

but i wake to find myself in bed
with u by my side
id smile to myself
sayin that ur my perfect guy

i go outside and close my eyes
lyin on the windy air
next thing i knew
i find u hugging me right there

i smile at u
lie in ur strong arms
cuz you always be my baby
i know you would not mean no harm

Noticing now my hubby is facing the worst thing that he asking for.. but yeah i have to stand by his side and be strong with him... Knowing that the granny is really sick and his lil niece crying all long make me realise this is life.. people come and go.. neither we want this to happen... and yeah... all this while he have fulfilled all what she wanted except for the last 1... The last 1 that is very hard to be fulfilled unless you really ready and prepard everything... But i hope this gonna be fine... seeing him not eating, keep thinking, riding with no clear mind make me more worried... Eventhough he doesnt have his own bike.. But he work delivery his life is also at stake.. and yesh today he nearly accident again... Im totally scared when i hear such thing.. eventhough i didnt show how worried i can be and stuff but trust me deep inside me i was like please dont do it again and if possible dont ride... lol... Seen and been what had happen before... Now i really wad am i suppose to do for him to stand back on his feet.... goshh.... He is always my pillar and now he need me to be his pillar i do not know what to offer... I cant possibly said that i want to visit the granny ryte.. i have not tied a knot with him.. im just his gf now.. gosh... i really do not know what to do.... goshhh wad a gf am i... i cant even think of anything... damn shitt

Just there where no one cries
Sky where no vulture flies
No stinking smell of rotten flesh
I promise I'll love you there
With my heart afresh

Where no man lives in the street
For living no one touches your feet
No possessor of mankind, no deprived slave
I promise I'll love you there
With all my rave

Just there when you open the door
To the strangers to help them more
No destitute dies like an eternal waste
I'll be with you there
And love you my best

Where there is no cultural debate
A place where no religions to hate
People live life like as it is
I promise I'll love you there
Like an open breeze

Just there where my brothers don't fight
No war and no soldiers on either side
No discriminations for any colour and race
I'll be waiting for you there
To see your angelic face

Where there is no boundary to confine people
No one fights for religious steeple
No holy war to put life in a swirl
I promise I'll love you there
In that blessed world.





I long to see your face
to feel you presence
to enclose on our space
to look into you eyes
to know that I'm your chase

I want to feel you hand in mine
to escape the world and enter yours
to see your smile shine
to know every fear entered in you
to smell your scent like wine



will end this entry with love...

I need to hear your soothing voice
to know where I stand with you
to know if we are making a right choice
to forget finalitties from the past
to tell you how you make me rejoice

Nevertheless hubby love and me going to KL on 9-11july... gosh cant wait.. as planned i wanted to go bali.. but time have not permit yet... so why not that short trip as he need to clear his leaves... :D shopping time hehe.. but yeah im working like mad just for the trip hehe.. bad bad elvrya... hmm i have a couple overdue bday present like faddy,zeda and yaya bday... gosh... i really dunnoe wad to get them.. first faddy a girl who somesort like me.. harap je mcm pompan tapi kasar.. but zeda more on softer side and yaya she wear tudung goshh that is even harder... hehe...

today hubby didnt come home as he need to help his friend repair the bike.. and tmrw he gonna fetch me from work again.. damn im a bad girl ask him to fetch me... and yeah i will be helpin sarah aunt shop at parkway i noe its abit to far.. but yeah cause of the trip im willing to work that extra mile... hehehe.. i miss hubbylove now.. usually this time i always sneak him in to my room hhehe.. den he will sleep on the floor and me on the bed and hold hands together.. and we will fall asleep... but yeah we have to rotate the stay... mom will only fly went my lil niece is out.. once emily out den they will fly.. first granddaughter mahh of course excited... cant wait to see her out... practically wad i planned was sooner or later amber is turning 1 den by den emily is 4mth and i can take both of dem out together... isnt that cute.. amber turning to big sis.. hehe.. okok practically im suppose to sleep but i cant shut my eyes... and im hoping idah get the job at my work place so that we can work together... weee....

I have given you my heart,
Keep it safe in your hands.
Once it was broken,
But with you it has began to mend.

I have shown you a side,
that only one other has seen.
So whenever I say I love you,
That is truly what I mean.

So take my heart,
And give me yours.
Together we can make it threw,
This dangerous little world.

With him it felt like a ball and chain.
But with you,
It feels like my feathers have grown back in,
And I can fly again.

No one can effect this feeling I have for you,
So stay true to me,
And I will be to you two.

So hugs and kisses,
X's and O's ,
Until I write again,
I want you to know.

Take my heart and keep it safe.
If it breaks again,
I don't know how long it will take.




I know you tell me you love me all the time
you tell me it almost every night
I love you is three words too little
because I love you even after Goodnight


You keep me in this existence
Just being with you is more than I've ever expected
You are more than just a good looking hunk
You're the one this heart selected


i need you to know
You mean so much to me
And I think about you everyday
So if you stay, well then I'll stay


i know you tell me you love me all the time
you tell me it almost every night
I love you is three words too little
because I love you even after Goodnight


but no matter what i always proud of you as you have been always taking good care of me... even those saddness can turn to joy whenever im with you...
love love you tonz hubbylove~

Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the seed
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and mixed up world

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me

And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
sometimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side

Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you

Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I love you , I love you, I love you
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not do
I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love

by beyonce.

a song with full of meanings....

pretty much i was busy with work lately so went home all shaggs down.. hubbylove is alternating the home stay... as his granny is sick.. practically im fine with it as his family need him most now... Hmmp... futhermore home is madness this few days i dun wish to elaborate more as important i just want things to be turn out good.. i just realise that been weeks that i last post a poem goshh... hmm practicall today post is kinda short.. btw i miss my hubbylove.... cant wait to meet him tmrw noon...

Update and update...
I havent been updating due to mugging for test.. gosh.. chemistry was sucks to the core.. i flung both prac and theory.. damn i really need a buck up... hmm practically but food science was great.. most i can manage to do it.. chuckles... hmm btw also i have been busy with work too... recently i got myself a job at inQbox just to help some finacial for my pocket money.. but i miss hubbylove to the max... realising that we are used and often together wen i start work and so did he i feel every min every sec is so precious.. nowdays i seldom meet him like last time as he is back in station which im glad of it.. but yeah... he earning extra is always a must... seriously first pay im for sure gonna get him that top at AX... darn.. when is the pay... gosh super long way to go... Ouh ya in school this few weeks was so quiet only the april intake is left in sch. the rest having hols cool huh? but in class we have so problem.. lol which class have no problems.. but the mates was great and funny... zeda, syera,ahbeng,pau,fred,faddy.yeok,nad ruddi is always making me looking forward for school.. event in class if i dun understand they always there to make me understand....

Not realising how many month i have not taken my lil precious god-daugther out... was been missed.. damn it... i miss that lil girl and the mama told me that she is able to fit in to my timberland shoes that i bought for her.. surely cute... i miss her so much... hubby can we please that the lil girl out.. :) miss her to the max.. and i love her too.... :) she is like my precious gems apart from hubbylove....

okk shall get back to mugging for test... will update like usual once im done with test ayte.. :)
btw here is the bday boy who celebrate the birthday in my room on my bed with his sepet eyes that cannot been seen... as though it is swollen.. :) * eh kenape mate u kecik? have swollen eyes isit?



see how small his eyes is.... :P
he so gonna kill me for saying this...


the cake that have been cut and he stole the choco roll...



the surprise in my room hehe


the big 20


he cant wait to eat the cake and see hw messy my study table is with all the wires and lappie books hahaha

Hubby happy 20th birthday

firstly as pernormal im broke so yeah instead of getting him the luxury stuff.. this time i made them my own... i didnt even bought him a card... i made him a sketch book instead... so there a couple pix of him and us... and he love it... so 5 min bfore midnight i gave him the sketch to be read and den here come the cake.. =) chuckles... and yeah at 12 midnight can u image we ate chocolate cake.. gosh... no wonder i gain weight easily as too much supper everynight hehe... so yeah... he didnt expect me to get them.. but yeah as i cant celebrate them luxury dine in... pathetic dinner at home and cutting cake in the room.. was kinda sweet too... =) hmm... so today suppose to go school but ended up to his crib... lol i was suppose to sit for a test... damn it.. but yeah due to the feet have bad rashes.. i got 2days mc... weeeEeee.... and den after poly headed to his crib.. there was his mom and cute lil niece.. and yeah.. im very bad to have conversation with his mom.. its always me who keeping quiet like a mouse lol... but his lil niece is super cute la.. we were like ika makan... den she ate with me and hubby.. ") and den after that she came to me and i tied her hair.. and the uncle said she look like a mad girl... practically i just love kids.... and How i wish i could have my very own.. hahaha.. but its okie... my lil niece is execpting anytime now alreaadyyy... cant wait.. lil NUR AMELIA AHMAD NAZMI aka Emily Nazmi. gosh.. a small cute baby with 2 names just like the father... and secondly.. i have send resume to this urban collection retailer.. gosh.. cant wait to even start work and hoping i get it... and yeah.. i will be working there part time.... and i will make a point that i will have time everysingle day for my hubbylove... no matter wad i still have to learn to juggle all... and promise to maintain that grades of mine... cant wait.. damn it.. finally an income of my very own... weeEee... i wont need to trouble no one.. and i love it... here comes my pampering and the elvrya is back... ;) and i love pampering the bf too hehehe.... cant wait for him to have his leave so i can have him everyday.... grrr....

weekend was kinda okie la.. with hubbylove around the day was dark become bright.. :)
so yeahin hours time is his birthday and trust me i havent get him anything.. as my budget runs alot.. damn it... i wish i could be working back like last time so i can pamper him to the max.. if he wanted to go club also can... but now the "F"ing problem im broke damn bored mom wont give me extra allowance as i overspent it pass month.. damn it.. but its okie.. at least i made him something special for tonight... hehee*grinz*

Practically monday is suppose to be Theory day which i didnt attend my class lol.. i have damn bad rashes on my feet.. went to the polyclinic and that doctor said it was jus allergy... For heaven sake i noe how my allergic to some food of product on my body.. it will have react and stuff but not on my feet...! and its getting worse... damn it...

Today in school was great i ate breakfast at cafe 1.. but nahh i prefer cafe 2 still.. :) practical ended eariler den what i expected.. and yeah... i ended at 1130 instead of 1... so im suppose to meet bestie without bf knowing :) so hubbylove i have to lie cause of your surprise gifts tonight.. sorry.... :x and yeah.. so i was at cafe 2 all the way till 1230 as bestie ended sch late..Grrrr... bishan always want things to be tip top.. no offence but i just love the discpline there.. hehe.. and yeah so we headed to CWP survey some cute tiny little cake and also another for the day that he is off.. ;) den we went popular to get the sketch book the cards and glue.. and the birthday card is made from scratch.. i just love to do it on my own for someone special and yeah i just love to write poetry.. so they sketch book and couple of potery and the rest are pics... thanks to the idea from bestie.. and yeah she is part of my secret in every little things.. :) without bf realising.. actually we planned something for him... but bestie have something up on friday.. darn it.. its okie shall surprise it on the day that he didnt know ayte.... :)
btw to the cases of the ex.. please i dun want any bothers from you and you.... ayte.... i just want this relationship to be peace...